Lessons from a Road Trip

For those who are unaware, I recently returned from one helluva' cross-country road trip with my sister.  We went from [deep breath] Orlando to Tampa to Columbus to Sandusky to Columbus to Indianapolis to St. Louis to Tampa to Orlando [exhale, chug beer].  That's 2,856 miles and 11 days of driving, passenging, coaster-riding, sand-volleyballing, drinking, working, family-visiting, and watching-Golden-Girls-on-a-TV-in-a-bar-ing.  I made several observations and learned more than a few lessons along the way, so read on!

Yes, we tried to avoid Kentucky.

Thank You

The writers at Truth Sauce take advantage of a very significant freedom that is borne to us by many years of American's fighting for those of us that lack something they bear to their core.  That freedom is defined by Wikipedia (via the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) as:

"The free communication of ideas and opinions is one of the most precious of the rights of man. Every citizen may, accordingly, speak, write, and print with freedom, but shall be responsible for such abuses of this freedom as shall be defined by law."

Don't Try to Save Money on These; Part 2

Alas, after a wait akin to Betty White's return to popularity, part 2 of Don't Try to Save Money on These has come ripping out of your chest like one of....THESE GUYS!!!!

They're walking a fine line between "Best Halloween Costume Ever," and "Is that a bloody penis coming out of that baby's chest?"

Be sure to see how it all began...PROMETHEUS, in theaters June 1st.  Check your local listings for show ti...what's that?  We're not sponsored by the new Alien movie?  Well, you should probably go see it anyway...I'm sure it'll be badass.  Let's get this show off road!  (Like getting it on the road, but more bumpy and more money in the swear jar)

Guest Blog: Where you at?

Today we have another special Single Serving submission from a reader. If you have any good stories, feel free to submit them. If you do submit them, we'll let you know if we plan on using it by getting in touch with you and letting you know when it will be up! As always, we take your submissions and often add a little bit of our own mix to it.

Submitted by: Neighbor Joe

Things We Love - Laser Tag

If you recognize the image above, and played with them, then you have the great fortune of growing up in the most epic era ever, we'll call it the MEEE for short.  The MEEE ushered in some of the greatest toys and entertainment systems that the world will likely see.  I'm not talking 'greatest' in value of technological advacement, I'm talking about how bad-ass it was for it's time.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Nintendo, and, of course, the Internet.

More funny YouTube videos that you need to see

A short while back, I shared with you "The funniest YouTube videos that you've never seen".  Since that post was wildly successful (based on some carefully crafted metrics that I made up in my head), I have decided to share with you this sequel of sorts.  The only difference is that you may have seen these popular videos before, but who cares!?  Watch 'em again, love 'em again, laugh at 'em again, tell me I'm awesome again, etc.

Binkley's Observations pt. 2

Sometimes things just occur to me and I feel it only necessary to pass them on to everyone else.  These are like my random thoughts, except I obsess over them to the point where I have to draw you pictures.  I've done one of these before and no one said, "Oh, hey, that's the dumbest notion that anyone has ever shared with me." But then again, this is Truth Sauce, how high is the bar?

Beauty and the Beast

Am I the only one who finds myself gawking when I see a coupling that is out of balance? Like a super hot dude with an ugly chick, or a fat guy with a model. Usually assumptions are made. "Wow! He must be super funny!" "She's probably his sugar momma!" "Maybe he's blind?" You know... stuff like that. I know the more sentimental Truth Sauce readers are probably thinking, "maybe they're in love?" Whatever. That's not what this blog is about. This blog is about society giving people (men) false hope about the type of women (hot) that they can get.

Don't Try to Save Money on These; Part 1

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but much of the world's population is, what economists refer to as - "Brokeass."  As it turns out, your very own Wildcard is quite the prime example of a "Brokeass!"  I would like to take this opportunity to teach you all a very valuable lesson in which areas of your life you should not attempt to save money.  This is the first entry of a two part workshop on what to spend that extra dollar on.  So pull up a chair, gather your loved ones, and learn from my mistakes.  That's right, Oprah...your little debt reduction episodes can suck it...I'm telling people to spend money.  Don't you dare laugh...this is serious business.  Take notes.  Let's be honest...if you think Truth Sauce is funny, it's only a matter of time before you're living under a bridge with the rest of us.

Guest Blog - Useless Technology: Craigslist - Missed Connections

Today we have another special Single Serving submission from a reader.  If you have any good stories, feel free to submit them.  If you do submit them, we'll let you know if we plan on using it by getting in touch with you and letting you know when it will be up!  As always, we take your submissions and often add a little bit of our own mix to it.  


Specifically, since I had an actual real-life conversation regarding this submission, I will go in to a bit more length, or girth, if you prefer, regarding this topic.  As always, my notes are in red!

Submitted by: Neighbor Joe

Ladder Golf

This is an epic tale of my evening at Wal-Mart, but it will be much more entertaining if you read it the same way I wrote it, which is drunk. (The secret phrase is "ladder golf". Drink every time I write "ladder golf". Do you understand the rules? Ladder golf!)

So I'm planning this huge Memorial Day / Birthday Party. It is gonna be off the wall!!!! In order to not have sticker shock the week of the party, I've been purchasing party supplies a little here and a little there.
Tonight I went to Wal-Mart to check out some yard games and coolers.  I was especially hoping to find ladder golf, which I was first introduced whilst watching Jersey Shore, you know, my inspiration for everything I do in life.

My Crazy Photos (2001-2005)

I'm not sure why I've been so willing to share personal stuff with you lately:  maybe it's the way you wink at me while you play with your hair.  Regardless, it's your gain because in this post I have decided to upload some of my personal photo collection and share them with you.

Wait, come back!

Not those kinds of photos, you jerks.  And why did Wildcard grab a box of tissues and slide closer to his monitor?  Anyway, I'm just talking about random photos that I have taken over the years.  Every once in awhile I click through my photo albums on my computer and think "WTF!?"  So, like any normal person, I figured "Why not put these marvelous gems on the Internet for the whole world to see?"  Voila.

What's in the News, with Wildcard!

Okay fine.  It's 4:40 a.m. and my blog is supposed to be ready in a few hours.  I was trying to cause Binkley some kind of stress induced analism (like an aneurysm, only in your butthole), but he didn't even bug me!  Sooo he's either immune to my attempts at stressing him out, or someone offered him the 5 dollar asking price for Truthsauce.com and I have a new boss who is yet unaware of my habits of profound procrastination.

Anyway, let's start the show!  In today's blog, I bring to you some current events, and inevitably, an explanation as to why reading the news constantly ruins my life.  This is something I'm rather fond of (ruining my life), so if you're new to my musings, you better get used to being a little bit smarter by the end of my current event blogs...and if I do my job right, you'll join me in my seething hatred for the outside world.

(p.s. As always, if you click on the link/headline of the current event, it will take you to the original story...you know...if you're not tired of reading already.  Don't worry, I understand...I like pictures too.)

What's New with StevieTodd

I have received tons of requests (cough zero cough) for a blog about my personal life, and I can only assume that many of you have the common problem of snapping awake in your water bed, wiping the cold sweat off of your creased brow, and exclaiming "Oh my God, what is StevieTodd thinking about these days!?!?" followed by deep, labored breathing as you ride out the water bed tsunami.  Well fear not, TruthSauceLand denizens, for I am about to tell you!

He's talking about me, of course.