|This isn't our design, but it's a clever poster.|
As much as I would be useful in a zombie apocalypse, I'm saddened that my usefulness would never be put to the test because there are just several major factors that would make such an event only fiction. Seriously people, I'm an engineer, I would be the king of the apocalypse. Even if I'm not a good engineer, people THINK I know shit, so they'd listen. At least for a while until they're like, "What the hell, this guy doesn't know anything, and why is he having all those women help him all the time, naked?" Anyways, in order for there to be an abundance of zombies, milling about, eating brains, it has to start with one, or two, or even a hundred, unfortunately for zombies, that number would be a flash in the pan, then back down to zero. Why? Because zombies are far to popular in today's culture.
Everyone and their brother know how to kill a zombie and no one would be surprised by some asshole dragging his feet as he shuffles towards you. Maybe, back in the day, someone could see one bumbling towards them and think, "Wow, this war veteran sure has it rough." BOOM, face lunch. Now-a-days, people actually ASSUME that someone is a zombie, even though they're just a drug crazed mad man who has a hankerin' for face. Hell, I get worried walking around with a slight limp just assuming someone is going to show me the business end of a shotgun.
The other problem with a zombie apocalypse? Fucking rednecks. Militant southerners won't even let black people on their property, let alone half-rotten, shuffling, corpses that only moan. The safest place in the event of a zombie infestation is not Costco, you idiots, everyone is going to try and go there. I'm going to get in my car, drive to Tennesse, and find the most dilapidated, piece of shit, trailer I can find. Why? Because that redneck spends all of his money on ammunition and powdered milk, not home repair and property taxes.